6 things adults who grew up in a childhood without affection have in common

4. Chronic Seeking of External Validation

An endless quest to fill an inner void. Without internalized love, you may look for worth everywhere else:

• Overworking for praise or recognition.

• Staying in unfulfilling relationships for crumbs of attention.

• Feeling “not enough” no matter what you achieve.

• An underlying sense of emptiness, even during success.

5. High Sensitivity to Emotional Atmospheres

You became an expert in reading rooms. Children in emotionally neglectful homes often become hyper-vigilant to nonverbal cues to stay safe. As an adult, this can mean:

• Absorbing the moods of others.

• Feeling responsible for managing others’ emotions.

• Extreme discomfort with tension or conflict.

• A deep-seated fear of “causing” someone’s displeasure.

6. Struggles with Self-Compassion

Kindness to others, criticism for yourself. You may extend immense grace to friends but treat yourself with harshness. This includes:

• A relentless inner critic.

• Difficulty soothing yourself in times of distress.

• Feeling guilty for prioritizing self-care.

• Believing you must “earn” rest or kindness.

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